It’s that time of the year. Time for everyone to resolve to be a better person, become healthy, better their faith and so on. Do any of us really stick through with it? One could hope, that’s for sure. I sure do try my best and I know most of you do too but it isn’t easy.
I want to reflect on last year before I talk about my 2017 goals. I can honestly say I hated 2016. Worst year of my life. HATED it. It started out by Roxanne getting sick, out sweet little yellow lab that was 10 years old. She was a diabetic and it had gotten so bad by March that Roxanne, our first baby, passed away March 29th. I know some of you think Well she’s just a dog but Roxanne was a huge part of our family. She had been with me and Matt for 6 years before we had kids. She was our first baby. After the kids were born they were raised with her and loved her as much as we did. It was very hard and I still miss her every.single.day.
Then I lost some really special friendships that I am just now getting over. What happened? Texting. It was a group text and no emotion what so ever can be taken from a text message. Which is why I now call people. What are the kids in the coming generation going to do when they come face to face with someone or have to call someone by the way? Anyways, something small became something huge and wasn’t necessary, to me. I fought and tried my hardest but turns out I don’t think I was cared for as much as I cared for them or we would all still be friends. So word of advice, even if your friend says they’re your friend and y’all are still friends after two years, I still wouldn’t trust it. They were a huge part of my life and just like that, they were gone. I felt so much grief and even depressed for losing those relationships but I have learned to move forward. My husband has helped me most of all. He told me they never cared about me if they could treat me like that in the first place and I believe him. He is my best friend and the only person I can count on, and that’s the way it should be.
I lost my mom. Talk about a shitty year, huh. I loved her so much, GAH I loved her. She was my very best friend. My person. I was so fond of my mom, I cannot do this without her. I am trying my hardest and then I am hit by a brick wall of reality. She is gone, she is not coming back. I will never talk to her again, touch her again or laugh with her again on this earth. That kills me. I just want my mom, y’all. Bad. I need her.
As much bad happened there was good stuff. Me and Matt bought our forever home. Our dream home and we couldn’t be happier. I have learned to cope with everything that took place last year but it is still very hard. We got three new family members. We took in Roxannes puppy, well she is actually 10 years old. Her name is Rose. We bought 2 more lab puppies, Allie and Bama. We have chickens to raise now! Life is good when you reflect on the good.
In 2017 I am …
- going to become a better me. Last year was hard and I told myself I was being easy on me because f everything and I have gained 10 lbs since my mom passed away. That is going away, soon. Losing weight and getting back to healthy eating. It makes me feel good and I actually love eating/being healthy so it makes it easy.
- going to be a better mother and wife. They are my first priority. They have always been my first priority. I want to sit down in the floor and play more, I want to have family game nights and more date nights. That’s how I want to be a better mom/wife.
- going to be a better friend to my friends. There are a lot of friends I don’t get to see as often because we are all so busy. I want to be a better friend by making that time to go see them this year and spend more time with them.
- going to learn to deal with my mom. Me and Jocelynn are looking into some counseling. She is having as rough as a time as I am with her Moomoo being gone. I want us to try to start the healing process together by finding someone who can help us.
- going to start searching for a church. I had a hard time going to church last year. Every time I went, I balled. I couldn’t help but think about what was going on with my mom and I ended up leaving. I want to start searching for a church that will be a good fit for our family and help me through all of this.
- going to let go of anger. I was very mad about what was happening to my mom, I still am. I have to let that go. Yes, its unfair what happened to her but I know it was in his plans. I can’t be mad at him anymore or anyone else because of it. I need to regain my faith and learn to trust that everything happens for a reason like my mom taught me..
- going to take more trips. Me and Matt want to take the kids on more weekend trips this year and maybe one big vacation. We both love traveling and want our kids to love it as much as we do!!
2017 I am so ready to get started! It is going to be a fabulous year!!