Let’s Catch Up- January until now from the Hermit

Some people might would have said I was a hermit crab during the months of February till now. I really didn’t leave the house much when I had my ileostomy. It just wasn’t fun leaving the house. If I did, it was just a lot of trouble. I mean, I literally needed my own “diaper bag” filled with gloves, extra ostomy bags, bottled water and more. Gloves to empty my bag with, water to clean it out and extra stuff just in case something were to happen to the bag I had on that day. This is so TMI and honestly I hate talking about it because it was the hardest thing I have been through in my adulthood. It made noises too and I really hated that so I just didn’t feel comfortable leaving the house. I was in a lot of pain most of the time anyways. I did a lot of couch sitting during that time and pretty much just became a hermit crab, except my shell being our home. You would think that I would’ve blogged during it all since all I did was sit in pain, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I was angry, sad, maybe even depressed. I am glad I had Matt beside me. I wouldn’t have been able to make it without him. My husband is amazing, y’all. I never once changed my bag, he did it all. He took such good care of me and I was so grateful. I will forever be thankful for him through that time. 

I am ready to start blogging again and put this all behind me for good. I need to catch up on several things before I can start with regular posts again. I mean, I haven’t even blogged about Easter. SO without further ado, lets begin. I am sorry if this might be boring but this is where I keep up with everything that goes on in our lives and I want to remember it all. 

Before my reversal surgery we went to Nashville for a weekend. I didn’t know how the recovery would be with the reversal and the kids had been so good through it all so we rewarded them with a short vacay. My dad lives in Nashville with his wife, my brother and my dads wife sister, Celia. We stayed with them during our trip so we could see their new house and spend some quality time with them. There just so happened to be a dinosaur exhibit that weekend while we were there so we went! My kids love dinosaurs, for real. They watch Jurassic world and I just recently introduced them to the Jurassic park trilogy. I know, I am a horrible mom for letting them watch it. But you know what? I didn’t ask for your opinion. The exhibit was so cool and very life-like! My babies loved every bit of it. Me>? I was extremely tired since that was the most I had walked in 2 months. 

We also enjoyed the Ripley’s Aquarium restaurant while we were there. We’ve done the rainforest cafe so went the other route this time. The kids didn’t even eat their lunch because they were so amazed!! LOL. 

We had so much fun. It was exhausting and I was in pain but it was so worth it to see some smiles on my babies faces. Not only was I going through bad stuff but they were too. It hurt them bad when their mommy got hurt and they haven’t been the same since. 

Celia slid down the stairs with Jocelynn and it was hilarious. We love our Celia! 

I’m so glad we had such a good weekend before mommy’s next surgery;)

I had my surgery and that next weekend was Maddies birthday. We just threw a small little party for her at the house. I’ll post about that and all the fun pics in a different post! But my BABY is FOUR!

Then Easter came! I was still recovering and couldn’t get around as good as I wanted but us moms do what we have to do. My kids were such an inspiration to me during my healing process, they helped me and my recovery. The night before Easter we sat out carrots, ranch and ice-cold beer; because according to Maddie that is what the easter bunny likes. When we woke the next morning, the bunny had come and left gifts and his silly footprints! Maddie walked over to the beer can and plate, turned around and yelled to me and matt “he killed his beer!” Yup, that’s my child. She keeps things interesting that is for sure. 

We died easter eggs on the porch and then ate most of them! That’s how the Vanzants roll on easter!

My sweet little Jocelynn probably had the hardest time during everything that I went through. I had promised her when mommy could drive good and was feeling better I would take her on a date, just the two of us. We finally got to go! We went and got our nails done first. I asked her where she wanted to go next and she said “TARGET!” I fell more in love with her after she said that! She got a few goodies from target and then we went and got ice cream. It was the best day, I just loved getting to spend time with just her. It’s so important and has become one of our top priorities now; one on one time with each child. 

 

The twins had orientation for Kindergarten back in May! Can you believe it? My babies, my first babies are going to Kindergarten this fall. I am having a really hard time with this fact. I feel like I blinked and from babies they became 5 year olds who are going to leave their mommy. I was so nervous for them that day. They got to stay for 2 hours by their selves and went to art class, PE, and the library. They even got to see how car rider works when we went to pick them up. They were so happy when they got in the car and I felt a huge sigh of relief. I actually couldn’t believe they loved it as much as they told me. Jocelynn and JP are usually so shy. Preschool has really helped them within the past couple years. I am excited for them to start a new journey but oh so sad at the same time. 

THEN, they graduated from preschool! I mean just tear my heart out while y’all are at it. 

I just love preschool teachers. I mean really, they are so special. Jocelynn and JP sure did love Miss Cheryl this year.

I think that may be about it! Ah I feel better knowing I have gotten some of this stuff down. Now onto blogging consistently and not letting life get in the way, even when it is bad. 




Hunting, Fishing and Loving Everyday Party

Here we are, the twins are 5.5 and it was time to throw them a birthday party! I haven’t thrown them a legit birthday party since their 3.5 party. We always do the family gathering and cake for their actual birthday but they don’t get any presents. I mean, Christmas has just passed right at their birthday. We do get them something small that they need on their birthday and then give a present on their party day!

When we moved into this house I knew they would be thrilled if we could throw a swim party. Thats exactly what we planned for! When I asked Jocelynn and JP what theme they wanted to do their party in they immediately told me “Hunting and Fishing!” Well, ok. I think this might be fun. One of their favorite songs is “Hunting, Fishing & Loving Every day” by Luke Bryan so I just went ahead and made it the theme of that song. How fun?!  I started looking on pinterest at fishing party decor and hunting party decor and kind of merged the two ideas together with some of my own! I can’t wait to show all of you!


I painted a couple of pallets that read “Joc’s Fishin Hole” and “JP’s Green Field”. Jocelynn’s sat beside the pool and the lake and I put JP’s in our yard with an inflatable deer. Next to JP’s pallet was a basket full of loaded nerf guns to shoot the deer! 

Me and the kids wrapped life savers and rope around Squeez-it juices and they looked adorable! We placed those outside next to the pool on our picnic table.

Next is probably my favorite. I printed out a bunch of pictures of the past month and even laminated them with frames because I was originally going to put these outside. I moved most decor inside because we didn’t know if tropical storm cindy was going to allow us to decorate outside or not. Thankfully this day was the first day it hadn’t rained in four days! They got so lucky! Anyways, the pictures; from babies to now. I put clothespins on them and clipped them to fishing net. I LOVED how it turned out. 

   

All of the labels I did for food also ended up being laminated and framed because again, it was originally going to be outside. I had so much fun with the menu. And this little one doubled as decor too! Fish and chips in a fishing net!

    

The Bobbers are just red chinese lanterns from Hobby Lobby that we painted the top white! It made for a great decoration! Twizzler’s were used as fishing line! 

 

I think my babies (or kids) had a great time at their party! They kept telling me it was the best party ever. I am just glad that some people showed up because of previous weather and they were able to be loved on for the day! I love you Jocelynn and JP!




Our Memorial Weekend

Our memorial weekend started off with a couple of our best friends! Jen and her kids came over Friday and we tried to get a tan while they all played and swam. I was so impressed with how good all the kids played, they all had so much fun together. After the husbands got there and the kids tired out from swimming we ordered some dinner and played Rook. The four of us use to stay up all night long and play rook pre children. It was so much fun. While we were playing I checked in on the kids and they were at the dining room table playing their own game of UNO. How precious!? 

Matt fished on Saturday so I let the kids swim in the pool again! I knew this house would be such a great investment as soon as I saw that pool. It has been so amazing for the kids and I love that they love it so much. 

We usually always “celebrate” Memorial Day on that Sunday because Matt usually never gets off work on that day. By “celebrate” I mean what people usually do on Memorial day; you know get on the boat, cookout, swim, and more. We smoked a brisket all night the night before and had plenty of other goodies to go along side of it.. potato salad, deviled eggs, asian slaw, trifle, Oreo pie, cupcakes, and ice cream! 

After full bellies we rode the pontoon for a little while. That thing is a babysitter for my children because as soon as we take off, they fall asleep! I guess the boat and wind acts like white noise and they just give in. It is literally the only time my children EVER take naps! We had such a good time with Milly, Matt’s mom, and Ken, her fiancee! 

Thank you to all of the fallen soldiers who fought for our country. Because of your bravery, we are free. 




The Reversal

I have been MIA from blogging since everything has happened. I hate it too. I want to update on everything that’s going on in life right now but it has been very hard to find the time or the words to even describe how I feel about everything. 

I had my ileostomy reversed March 28th. I had the ileostomy for a total of 8 weeks. I couldn’t believe it, I thought I had at least 6 more weeks with it before reversal. But I had started having some problems which apparently pushed the surgery forward. My stoma had prolapsed and was literally hanging off of me about 4 inches by the time night rolled around everyday. I know this is gross, believe me, I KNOW. Then a different part of my small intestine had started protruding out about that much too so I had to do a lot of laying down about a week before surgery. 

The hardest part before facing surgery was saying goodbye to my babies…

They all cried so hard the night before my surgery and gave me lots of hugs and kisses. The last time their mommy left for surgery I didn’t end up coming back like I said I would. They were scared to let me go, they thought something would go wrong again. I reassured them and told them everything would be fine and Mommy would be home in a few short days. Thanks to my mother-in-law, wonderful husband and SIL, the kids didn’t have to worry as much.

The day before surgery I was reading my daily scripture for that day and decided to go ahead and read March 28ths also since I didn’t know how I would feel. I felt very scared, the scripture for that day made it sound like my time had come to an end. God was talking about taking his hand and trusting him in that scripture. I trust him with all of my heart and I love him and I am not afraid of death, I am afraid to leave behind my babies and husband though. I want to live life to its full advantage, especially now. So needless to say, I was very scared the morning of surgery. Me and Matt walked back to pre-op that morning, they started the IV and yada yada. I honestly didn’t want to go back, I didn’t want to have surgery again, I didn’t want to feel this afraid but this had to be done. So, I trusted God and let him guide me through it all. 

Jocelynn gave me a monkey to take with my and help me feel better. I took pictures with it and sent them to her while I was in the hospital

I woke up in a room with Matt by my side. I was in and out for a while. I finally was ableto wake up enough and realize it was gone! And most importantly I as ALIVE! I looked at Matt and asked “Did it work?!” He held me and told me it did, my ileostomy was gone and surgery went well. I started crying. I couldn’t believe it. It was all going to be over with now and I could start healing emotionally, mentally and physically. After crying I prayed to God and thanked him for holding my hand through this. Matt had to leave later that afternoon so I took advantage of being alone and rested, did a little coloring and watched stupid TV shows! I also looked at my daily scriptures and realized I was a month ahead. The one I had read that had scared me so bad wasn’t even for that day! In fact the one that ended up being for the day of March 28th was very calming. I felt relaxed after realizing that and even ended up laughing. Sometimes when life keeps throwing you these horrible phases, you just have to laugh. I mean y’all, we’ve literally been through hell the past few years and all we can do is laugh and keep our faith strong.

This has all changed me without a doubt. It’s a funny thing, when you come close to death of course you turn to God. I have always been a believer and I have always had a good relationship with God. I might not go to church every Sunday since having kids but my church is in my heart until we find a church home we love. During all of this I really turned to him more so than I have in a long time. He helped reassure me everyday that it was all going to be ok. No matter what happened, or how everything turned out, he was there for me. I was able to really enjoy that overwhelming feeling of love I felt from him and still do.

Recovery has not been easy. I hate it for my kids and husband mostly. I have my good days and I have my bad days. More bad than good most weeks but I am just grateful to be here. My family has been amazing through this, especially the kids. They’ve been patient, understanding and helpful when I need them. I am just glad that it’s all over, we can all move on from this now.  




It’s been one month since I almost lost everything..

It has been one month today. One month ago today that I almost lost everything and everyone I love.

One month ago today, I was preparing to go in for a laparoscopic surgery. A surgery to help my pains I have been having for a while. My OB/GYN thought it must be endometriosis so we pursued to do the laparoscopic surgery to check and planned the surgery for January the 30th. I wasn’t scared at all. This is something me and my doctor have done before several times, whether it was endometriosis or removing a cyst from my ovary. Never did I ever think what actually happened could or would happen. 

Monday morning me and Matt woke up early to head to the hospital before the kids woke. We got to the hospital and checked in and proceeded to do everything involving getting ready for the surgery; change into gown, get IV in, and wait till the surgical team came and got me. Everything went smoothly (or so we think) and I was in a room recovering with my husband by my side. I was able to drink and eat something so they let me go shortly after. We got home and I went to bed to rest. Everything was going just how we thought it would….Until the next day.

Matt went to work, I stayed in bed and our sweet neighbor watched the kids for me while I continued to rest. Fast forward to that evening. I noticed I had a missed call and voicemail around 6 pm. It was my OB/GYN. She left a message saying I needed to call her back asap because she needed to talk to me about something. I finally talked to her around 6:30 and she said the biopsy she took of my ovary had bowel/colon on it and that’s obviously not good. This means she accidentally hit my colon during surgery and it was leaking into my body. She told me I needed to go to the hospital immediately to be admitted incase I were to go septic. I started crying and panicking. Matt and the kids were at the hunting club to see if their pawpaw or anyone else had killed a deer. I called Matt, still crying freaking out and told him what was going on. Thankfully, since his dad was right there with him, pawpaw and chik were able to let matt leave the babies with them so he could come back home and take me to the hospital. I was terrified, I didn’t want to leave my babies. I didn’t even get to kiss them goodbye but I knew we had to go.

We got to the hospital and was admitted immediately. We got into a room. The nursing staff came in very quickly, got me hooked up to an IV (my least favorite part, I have rolling veins so I have to get pricked several times), and they started antibiotics and pain medicine. I wasn’t hurting bad at that point, it just felt like I was recovering from the surgery the day before. The night went on and my stomach pains got worse. It was like my stomach was blowing up with air. The next morning, Wednesday morning, I started hurting pretty severely. One of the sweet nurses walked in and told me they would be taking me down to radiology soon to do a dye test to see where the possible leak was. 

I didn’t realize how bad I was hurting until I went down to do that test. I felt so bad for the 2 sweet nurses doing the X-rays, I wasn’t very cooperative. I mean I did my best but it hurt so bad so I toughed it out and screamed and cried every time they told me to roll over on my side and then back again to my back. They took lots of pictures and then a doctor came in to do the dye part. Again, I had to roll on my side; while screaming they proceeded to do the dye. More screaming came after that. I was in an unbearable amount of pain at this point as they rolled me to my room. Matt grabbed my hand and asked me if I was ok and I told him no I wasn’t ok. I got him to help me up because it hurt to sit down. Little did I know it hurt to stand up too, I couldn’t get any pain relief. Matt made the nurse come in and told her how uncomfortable I was so she gave me some pain medicine. It didn’t work at all. I started throwing up while crying and screaming because of the pain. Matt called the nurses in again and told them that something was wrong. All they told me to do was to try to calm down. Well that’s easier said than done when you are in the worse pain you’ve ever been in your life. I kept yelling at them to do something else. They were about to call the rapid response team on me when the doc finally came in and gave them permission to give me 3 shots. I don’t know what they were, I don’t even remember getting them. I barely remember what went on after getting back to the room because I blacked out in pain. The 3 shots apparently helped and put me out. The doctor explained to Matt that I was in so much pain because of the peritonitis (the bowel leaking into my abdomen) and when they pushed that dye up my rectum it went into my abdomen as well. He said there are so many nerves in the abdomen and that it is very painful when that happens and that’s why I was in so much pain. I can’t imagine how Matt felt through all of this, we are best friends and I know he thought at one point he wasn’t going to see his best friend again. 

They took me down after they gave me those shots for immediate surgery. I had no clue what was going on, obviously. Matt told me I was back there for 5 hours. The surgery resulted in the doctor giving me an ileostomy. This amazing doctor was able to do this under laparoscopic instead of having to cut me all the way open since I had just had surgery two days before. I do have one big cut where my caesarean scar is. I can honestly say I never knew what an ileostomy was until now. After surgery I don’t remember much. I woke up in a room full of friends and family and felt very blessed to have everyone care so much. I had a feeding tube and some other stuff all over me but the pain pump helped with all of that. I didn’t even know I had an ostomy at this point. Matt decided not to tell me until I was more lucid. I don’t blame him one bit. 

The next day Matt said I asked him “what the hell is this on my stomach?” He said he explained it to me and I was pretty furious about all of it. Not about the doc who saved my life because don’t get me wrong I am so very grateful to be here, but I was just mad. Mad at the situation, mad that this happened to me. Just mad. I don’t remember a lot of that week. I remember a lot of crying, a lot of pain, and more pain. I remember having a lot of visitors and again I felt so blessed for that. One who didn’t leave mine and matts side much was my Aunt Jane. She was there a lot and I will never forget that. It was hard going through all of this without my mom but having jane there made it better. And my husband? He didn’t leave my side often. I want to cry when I think about how he felt that week. He was amazing though. Matt was tough for the both of us, caring, compassionate, and took such good care of me. I wish I could give my husband the world after all of this. He is my person. 

They released me to home health on that Saturday. We got in the car and headed home. As much pain as I was in and as scary as it was to face everything that was happening and was going to happen I could not wait to see my babies. I walked through the door and started bawling crying and hugged all three of them. I could have lost my life during all of this, I could have lost them, lost matt, everything. But I didn’t, thank god, so I hugged them and didn’t want to let go. I was given a second chance. 

It has been a very hard recovery. Thankfully Matts mom, Cathy, has had someone over every single day to take care of me and the babies and help Matt out with housework. People have brought dinner, lunch and groceries. I have been overwhelmed by the good that people have done for us and I will forever be thankful and grateful to everyone that has helped. Cathy has been such a blessing during all of this and I could never repay her for all the stuff she’s done but I will spend the rest of my life letting her know how much she means to me, to us. We love you so much Milly. 

I can’t go back to work for 3 months. I am getting use to the ileostomy but doesn’t mean I have to like it. I admire the people who have these permanently, God Bless you. Not that its a bad thing, it is just very uncomfortable. The kids seem to think it is really cool. They are actually very interested in all of it, especially when Matt changes it, they ask so many questions. Maybe I have future doctors on my hands? I can’t bend over, I can’t hold the babies or anything over 15 lbs. I miss picking up my babies and can’t wait until the day I can do that again. Please do me a favor and pickup your baby/child and hold them like you won’t be able to one day. I miss being their mom. I know I am mom but I can’t be the mom they need right now and it breaks my heart every single day. My mom taught me to look at the positive in bad situations and I have discovered many. Ive been able to sit down and relax which I never do and really enjoy my babies like I never have before. I see them play, laugh and fight like I never have before. I have laughed a lot since being home (which hurts very bad) but maybe its therapy? I have a beautiful home and lake view that makes the recovery a little better. Its hard, and it is going to continue to be hard but this week it has been one month so we are t minus 2 more months that I can get the ileostomy reversed. I am terrified to go back to the hospital and have yet another surgery but looking forward to it in the same sense. 

For now, I am going to continue to heal and enjoy life as it is. I know this is just a season and it will pass. Something I tell myself every single day to help the pain. I plan on strengthening my relationship with the lord, sitting down and reading the bible more now since I have the time. I plan on watching a lot of movies with my sweet family and just living life day-to-day right now. 

I thank you for all of your prayers, comments on IG, and feel better texts. Y’all know how to make a girl feel very special. 

 




The Twins are FIVE!!!

I cannot believe my babies, the babies I longed for years are 5!! Feels like yesterday we just brought them home from the hospital and took this photo…

When the big 5 was coming up, I talked to Jocelynn and JP about possibly having a party. We haven’t had them a true birthday party since their 3.5 party with friends and family. They told me they didn’t want one right now, they wanted another half birthday party, so they can have a swimming party at our new house! I couldn’t agree more, that is going to be so much fun! 

The 30th of December came quickly! That day Matt ended up being off work so it worked out so great! Matt took JP fishing and me and my girls made a birthday cake! 

Later that afternoon we took them to a beautiful park that had an awesome playground out in Leeds, AL!! We had so much fun, me and Matt even joined in on the slides that were at this playground. The slides were so big it took my stomach away going down it!

We asked the twins earlier in the week what they wanted to do, they could do anything they wanted to; and they said they wanted to go to the restaurant where they cook infant of you. After the park we met Pops, Laurie and Celia at Mt. Fuji in Birmingham. I was glad they wanted to eat there because I have been craving some japanese shrimp and that yummy fried rice!!

JP,

I am so proud of the little person you have become. You are just a happy, awesome little guy. Yes there are days where you are not so perfect but we all have those days. You are going to be great at whatever you set out to do, you are so athletic and can do anything. We can tell you try to ride a bike without training wheels and you perfect it within that day. You have a mindset like no other 5 year old I know. When you want to do something or learn how to do something, you will do it over and over again until you are doing it perfectly. It is truly amazing. When you aren’t outside playing, you are inside usually playing the Wii if not with your toys. You love mario kart, wii sports and super mario. You are really good at all of those games too. Like I said, you amaze me!!

We just recently cut off ALL your hair because you wanted to look just like your daddy! You love me, and you want me when it matters but YOU LOVE YOUR DADDY. I am so happy about your love for your daddy. You and Matt will be best buddies when you grow older and I can’t wait to watch your relationship transform over time. You are just like your daddy too. You love everything he loves to do, fish, hunt, play baseball, throw the football. You are excited about going to kindergarten next year! I don’t even want to talk about that yet!! You really understood the rivalry between Auburn and Alabama this year. It literally broke your heart if someone you loved was an Auburn fan. Your uncle Mark is an auburn fan and you looked at me and your daddy one day and told us “Mom, Dad, Uncle mark; he’s just not that smart, is he?” We DIED OUT LAUGHING!! And ever since then you hate it when someone tells you they’re Auburn fans, its precious. Mommy and Daddy love you so much and we are so proud of you. We will always be here and are looking forward to seeing the person you become. 

  Jocelynn, 

My sweet, emotional little girl. You are a very caring young child. You break my heart at least once a day either talking about moo moo or crying for her. The way you feel deeply about people is truly inspiring. You love with your whole heart and you don’t forget. I wish I could take your pain away sweetie, mommy sure is trying to help you deal with it all. 

You are a mommy’s girl without a doubt. I think you always have been come to think of it. You love your daddy but always want me. I am always here for you. 

You are riding a big girl bike just like JP! You cannot stand him doing something that you cannot so you got right on the bike that he learned on and you worked on it for a few days until you were riding like a pro. You have a great mindset just like your brother, and I love your commitment to learn something that is challenging. You get frustrated pretty easily but I am learning that the Vanzant children aren’t quitters. 

While you are so sweet, you have a mean streak too. I tell Maddie and JP all of the time not to mess with you because you show them whose boss when they need it! You are very tough too! JP and you “fight” a lot; where you punch and pretend to fight each other (although y’all do actually fight a lot too lol) but you usually end up on the ground or him crying. You can take a punch to the face and not even cry! Tough tough girl trying to keep up with her brother. 

I love you sweet baby, mommy is so unbelievably proud of the person that you are becoming!




Letters mailed to Heaven

I have to say, this has really helped Jocelynn. I have kept the helium tank so she can send moo moo notes whenever she wants; whether is about how much she misses her or something that’s going on that she wants to update her moo moo on. I also have to say that I am pretty jealous of my kids, I wish so bad that this was true, that we really could send mom notes and know she received them, that we can communicate with her. Oh how I wish, but I am so glad that this is helping the babies. 

So how did we do it?? 

The picture above shows you the balloon blown up with the note in it. 

First, we let the kids all write their notes. 

     

Then we folded the notes up as small as we could get them. Next, we gently put the notes into the balloon. 

The notes are in the balloon! YAY! Now, blow the balloon up with a helium tank, tie the balloon and then tie ribbon onto the end as you usually do.

Time to mail our balloons!! The kids couldn’t run outside fast enough, they were so excited! I just wanted to cry when I watched those balloons go and seeing the magical expressions on the kids faces. 

We love you moo moo!! This just makes my heart so happy and I just wanted to share it with you all in case any of you are suffering from loss. I know ir happens and it is inevitable in life that you’ll lose someone you love at some point but it still doesn’t make it any easier. I am praying for anyone who is and hope this helps somebody! 

I am thinking about starting a link up for grief counseling, somewhere you can go if you’re suffering from loss and have other people to connect to share stories. I have learned that talking about it does make it easier and I wanted to know what you thought on doing something like that? 




Holiday Home Tour – Final!

Welcome to the master bedroom!! I love our room, I could live in here. We actually all stay in here a lot. I do want to change some things in here in the future too but as I said before with the rest of the house, it can all wait. SO let’s get to it!

Yes, I have a christmas tree in every room this year. We are just happy to have this home and since we hosted Christmas this year we went a little over the top!

My favorite part about the bedroom would have to be the windows. When we first moved here I had them open all of the time because it felt so good outside and what a beautiful view we have from the bedroom of the lake! For the tour I just left them close, although the light might have helped when I took these pictures.

Now into the master bathroom! We have an amazing tub and a walk in shower. The kids are in love with our tub and I have to say me and Matt enjoy it too. Like I said we all spend a lot of time in the master area.

I love that piece of furniture in the bathroom, it was left here by the previous owner.

Now to the closet, another favorite of mine. I could live in here too:) And the mirror in here, IN LOVE.

Behind those doors is the laundry room! How brilliant is that? I don’t have to walk up and down the steps all day to do laundry! I even do laundry while the kids are sleeping at night! So convenient!

Below is the picture walking into the closet. The closest is next to the master bed. I didn’t know what to do with that green piece of furniture because it was too big for any of our rooms. It was originally in JP’s room but his room in this house has so many windows it was kind of hard to pick a spot for it so for now it stays in the closet and is used for our linens.

I forgot to post the playroom in the last posts. It is downstairs conveniently located off the kitchen so I can see them play while doing the dishes and cooking.

I recently took this couch out because I sold it and we had to make room for ALL of the toys the kids got for Christmas. It made things change in here tremendously and I am so glad we have room for all of the toys hah!

Well that’s about it! All rooms but the downstairs utility room and my office but those are for another time. Plus those rooms are extremely messy right now and I wouldn’t want to do that to any of you. Until next time!




Holiday Home Tour Part 2

Home tour part 2!! This part of the tour is going upstairs and the kids rooms. I will do one more part to this tour and that will be for the master bedroom and the playroom!

The photos below are going upstairs.


                    

This is Jp’s room! He has a room all to himself. My baby boy enjoys his sleep and he never gets anything without the girls getting involved so it only seemed fair for him to get his own room!

He has his own bathroom! Actually the girls do too and I LOVE that about this house. They will enjoy their privacy when they get older. His bathroom has a vanity part and then a toilet with a shower/tub in the other room.

He has an amazing closet in his room too! I love being able to hang up all the clothes and not have to switch out boxes for seasons.

Time for the girls room! I love a girly room and theirs defines the word girly.

Their closet is very big although you cannot tell in this photo because they have so many clothes! I use a shoe holder for all of Jocelynns barbie dolls on the back of the door!

I would like to paint most of the rooms in the future but for now this will do! I had to hang up a curtain separating their bedroom from the bathroom because Jocelynn is a little bit of a scaredy cat and didn’t like being able to see in there. So I hung a curtain and pin it back during the day with a crown.

They have their own big vanity area and then a toilet with a shower/tub also! I can’t wait to utilize this space and make it pretty when they get older and really get into makeup/

 

That is it for this tour!! I just love looking at our pictures, it truly is a dream come true living here.




2017 Goals

It’s that time of the year. Time for everyone to resolve to be a better person, become healthy, better their faith and so on. Do any of us really stick through with it? One could hope, that’s for sure. I sure do try my best and I know most of you do too but it isn’t easy.

I want to reflect on last year before I talk about my 2017 goals. I can honestly say I hated 2016. Worst year of my life. HATED it. It started out by Roxanne getting sick, out sweet little yellow lab that was 10 years old. She was a diabetic and it had gotten so bad by March that Roxanne, our first baby, passed away March 29th. I know some of you think Well she’s just a dog but Roxanne was a huge part of our family. She had been with me and Matt for 6 years before we had kids. She was our first baby. After the kids were born they were raised with her and loved her as much as we did. It was very hard and I still miss her every.single.day.

Then I lost some really special friendships that I am just now getting over. What happened? Texting. It was a group text and no emotion what so ever can be taken from a text message. Which is why I now call people. What are the kids in the coming generation going to do when they come face to face with someone or have to call someone by the way? Anyways, something small became something huge and wasn’t necessary, to me. I fought and tried my hardest but turns out I don’t think I was cared for as much as I cared for them or we would all still be friends. So word of advice, even if your friend says they’re your friend and y’all are still friends after two years, I still wouldn’t trust it. They were a huge part of my life and just like that, they were gone. I felt so much grief and even depressed for losing those relationships but I have learned to move forward. My husband has helped me most of all. He told me they never cared about me if they could treat me like that in the first place and I believe him. He is my best friend and the only person I can count on, and that’s the way it should be.

I lost my mom. Talk about a shitty year, huh. I loved her so much, GAH I loved her. She was my very best friend. My person. I was so fond of my mom, I cannot do this without her. I am trying my hardest and then I am hit by a brick wall of reality. She is gone, she is not coming back. I will never talk to her again, touch her again or laugh with her again on this earth. That kills me. I just want my mom, y’all. Bad. I need her.

As much bad happened there was good stuff. Me and Matt bought our forever home. Our dream home and we couldn’t be happier. I have learned to cope with everything that took place last year but it is still very hard. We got three new family members. We took in Roxannes puppy, well she is actually 10 years old. Her name is Rose. We bought 2 more lab puppies, Allie and Bama. We have chickens to raise now! Life is good when you reflect on the good.

In 2017 I am …

  • going to become a better me. Last year was hard and I told myself I was being easy on me because f everything and I have gained 10 lbs since my mom passed away. That is going away, soon. Losing weight and getting back to healthy eating. It makes me feel good and I actually love eating/being healthy so it makes it easy.
  • going to be a better mother and wife. They are my first priority. They have always been my first priority. I want to sit down in the floor and play more, I want to have family game nights and more date nights. That’s how I want to be a better mom/wife.
  • going to be a better friend to my friends. There are a lot of friends I don’t get to see as often because we are all so busy. I want to be a better friend by making that time to go see them this year and spend more time with them.
  • going to learn to deal with my mom. Me and Jocelynn are looking into some counseling. She is having as rough as a time as I am with her Moomoo being gone. I want us to try to start the healing process together by finding someone who can help us.
  • going to start searching for a church. I had a hard time going to church last year. Every time I went, I balled. I couldn’t help but think about what was going on with my mom and I ended up leaving. I want to start searching for a church that will be a good fit for our family and help me through all of this.
  • going to let go of anger. I was very mad about what was happening to my mom, I still am. I have to let that go. Yes, its unfair what happened to her but I know it was in his plans. I can’t be mad at him anymore or anyone else because of it. I need to regain my faith and learn to trust that everything happens for a reason like my mom taught me..
  • going to take more trips. Me and Matt want to take the kids on more weekend trips this year and maybe one big vacation. We both love traveling and want our kids to love it as much as we do!!

2017 I am so ready to get started! It is going to be a fabulous year!!