Ive been wanting to blog about our marriage for a while now, just haven’t gotten around to doing it. Not because I need to but because I want to. I want to remember how strong our marriage is and has been and how we’ve managed to come over obstacles and the ups and downs that come with being with a person for so long.
There’s no doubt about it, we aren’t perfect. We haven’t been married for 10 plus years but I really think that we know how marriage works and how its suppose to work. I met Matt when I was 15 years old. We didn’t start dating until after I was 16. We had both been burned in the past and looked forward to moving on with each other. We did just that. I knew Matt would be the one I was going to marry shortly after meeting him. I just knew. I had the feeling and I can’t describe it in words but I knew. This young country boy that was smoking hot (as i use to say) was down to earth, genuine, loyal and a great personable person. A lot like me. I think that’s one reason we got and get along so well, is because we are so much alike. I fell in love with Matt fairly quick and I think he fell for me too. We would never say it though because we were both scared. 6 months later we finally said the L word and have been saying it every day since then to each other. I feel so beyond blessed to be married to such a wonderful man. I thank God everyday for sending him my way or sending me to him.
Our marriage is stronger than ever. That says a lot after having three kids so young. Kids put a little strain on a marriage because its so much change at once. No matter how bad you want them and are happy they are in your life, it just happens because so many things change in the relationship. We struggled a little bit after the twins were born but when we found out we were having Maddie, its like everything was ok. We were so excited and our sweet Madelynn just fit right in to our chaotic life of 5.
I think one thing while our marriage is strong is because we knew our roles before having kids. I take care of the babies and he works. When the kids are old enough to go to school, I will go back to work or do something to pitch in. We are very old fashioned in that sense. He always thought I should stay at home and I wanted to because this is all I have ever wanted. Is to be a mom. Take care of my kids, husband and house. Its a hard job but Matt’s job is hard too. We both agree we have difficult jobs and we respect each other equally because of it.
We are best friends. I tell him everything and he tells me everything. I don’t have a lot of friends and its nice to have Matt by my side to talk to when I need him. He has me to talk to too. Because we are best friends, we communicate. If something is bothering one of us we just say it. We don’t hold it in and as soon as it is said, It gets fixed. Because that’s what you do. You don’t hold it in until it explodes, you fix it because its not worth losing your marriage over.
We make time for us. The kids go to bed fairly early. Around 7/7:30. It works because Matt has to leave to go to work in the middle of the night and he needs his rest. After we lay the kids down we have our time to spend with each other. We talk about how our days went and to be honest about 98% of our conversations are always about our beautiful babies because we enjoy talking about them. We watch TV. We just have time at night to spend with each other and that’s so important in any relationship that involves children/babies.
We trust each other. Trust is a huge part of any relationship and I am so glad we have that. I trust him with all of my heart and he does me too. We aren’t 16 and 17 years old anymore and jealous because of a girl/guy. We trust each other to make right decisions and know that we will. I trust him with my life and with the kids life. Matt is a very smart person and knows a little bit about everything. A couple years ago we started talking about another great depression and it scared/scares me because what would we do for food? Well, my husband has that under control. He would take care of us. I hope this world never comes to that again but if it does I trust my husband will take care of us.
Parenting. We are so much alike and that makes our parenting a like too. We are very laid back but strict when we need to be. Matt is the best dad. I can’t even begin to describe just how great of a dad he is because there’s no way to express it in words. You have to see it. He is hands on. He plays with them. He teaches them. He is just so wonderful and I am so thankful he takes the time out to do all of those things with our babies.
We give each other time. After we put the kids to bed, I tell Matt to go and have fun. He works hard all week long and I want him to be able to go have fun on the weekends! He gives me time with my friends or by myself too! Its important to have girl time or guy time. I really enjoy just riding by myself and listening to the music as loud as it will go. It clears my head and I love it.
We don’t say the D-word. Divorce. I told you that me and Matt are very old fashioned. When we got married we got married thinking there is no way out. We don’t say that word and we don’t play around with that word because its a bad word. You fight for your marriage if you’re having problems. You fix it. You do not whatsoever throw it all away and mention the D word. I know that some people have to because some problems can’t be fixed and that’s completely understood, this is just how we feel.
Like I said though, We’ve only been married for 5+ years but I think we know how marriages work. We’ve got it and we are so blessed to have one another as a spouse. I love him to the moon and back and I hope I show him that every day for the rest of our lives no matter what obstacles we have to cross.
I love you baby. Ive spent over a decade with you now and I can’t wait to see what the next one brings us:)